October 16, 2016

What Are Your Goals In Life?

This is the question my supervisor asked me during our one-on-one session. Having failed audits in one week, I can feel her frustration as we went through the almost 1 hour session. I know what she is rooting for me (as she had told me many times during previous conversations) but I felt like I had failed her. What's worst, is that I had failed myself too. I had great folks giving me support yet I did not meet their expectations. That's when I really started asking myself, "What is my goal in life? Am I really in the right direction to meet this goal?"

Unlike some people I know, I have a simple goal in life- be more stable for my future. Not stable like becoming super rich and having lots of houses and stuff (although that would be nice if it happens); but a more simple one. As a person belonging to the queer community, single and in my 30's I am think a lot about not being able to find a future partner. But I had come to a realization and started to accept that I will grow old and die alone, without a family of my own. Although Philippines is known as a "gay-friendly" country, there's no solid law that protects our rights and gives us more work opportunity and allows us to live more freely. I have 2 brothers and we are very close to each brother, but I cannot always rely onto them; in time they'll get married and have their own family, and I don't want to be a burden to them in the future.

And so by realizing this, I need to work more harder and try to keep my job and make not just my boss proud, but myself, too. Thankful that my employer gave me a chance to contribute my skills to their line of business and in return gives lots of opportunity that I can avail for free. I need to be more focused on my work and hopefully take one step further from reaching this simple goal I have.

September 27, 2016


I am writing this update on this special day of my existence. I believe this is my first time to write some sort of like a birthday post. Well mostly this is going to be just an update from my last post. But we'll see where this keyboard will take me.

I'm officially 31 years old. The very last day of the calendar. I remember when I was a kid, my Tita went through the same thought; I used to hear her say "Naku, lalampas nako sa kalendaryo" (I'm almost out of the calendar - referring to her age) and those times I just laugh at her. I used to see her worrying about not being able to marry before 40. Funny thing is, now I'm at the exact situation as where she was decades ago. The only difference we have is, she got married at 35, and I'm still single up to now.

I'm not going to sound bitter on this post, but yes, sometimes I think looking to try my luck at love again. Although I am not really looking, there are instances where you look at your friends and co-workers post photos with their boyfriends/girlfriends on Facebook (that's why I hate Facebook lol), and I get this feeling of sadness and of having someone call you and send you sweet messages that will make your day better. I've been 5th wheeling for 3 years now. When my brothers have their own relationships, I am there having my own relationship with movies, books and my laptop. And isn't so nice to have someone to cuddle you during the night? I miss that feeling.

Anyway, so I am failing in the love department. So what? What about life? Well - I'm almost there. A lot is going on in my plate right now. I want to eat them all, but I can't eat them at the same time, if you get what I mean. But yes, I am getting in there. Lately I resumed my Danish lessons, though I am looking to get help from a native speaker if given the chance. Work is doing good lately; with the never ending encouragement from my boss I made it to the one I called "The Grand Line". I am looking forward to staying in the company longer, enhance my communication skills further and use it to my advantage in the future. I've been reading a lot of books lately. See, at least in life, it's not bad, eh?

One thing that I miss is traveling and meeting old friends. Remember when I posted about meeting old friends last year? I want to do it more often. I want to travel somewhere else alone. Meet old pals for a cup of coffee and catch up. Sounds cool, right?

This year, my goal would be catching up with old friends, and at least go on a solo travel in the country. I also need to learn more Danish (and learning another language maybe?) and of course, if ever, meet my special someone? We'll see, we'll see.

August 28, 2016


When was the last time I made an update? It felt like years since I got a new job and since Minzy left 2NE1 that I made quite a long post. But yes, I remember I had a blog that's been dormant for quite a while. Let me give you a quick update.

I'm on my sixth month at my new job. I admit, the first 2-3 months was stressful that I thought of quitting. I still can't believe that I'm working for an online dating site and yes, six months later I'm still here, on my way to regularization. All is good now to be honest. Work environment is great and I have a great team and an amazing boss who never fails to guide us. Hopefully I'd make it through another six months, or longer.

I've also purchased a book earlier this month, Patricia Highsmith's The Price of Salt. I've watched the movie version, Carol, but reading the book would be better. Hopefully, I'd be able to read it soon, after I'm done with the book I last purchased. Which has been on my shelf pending for almost 2 years. Speaking of books, lately I've been been reading a lot of e-books. Most of them, classics like Anna Karenina. We have e-books available at work and whenever I have time I read them. E-book really comes in handy but buying the book itself is nice. The last e-book I read was Khaled Hosseini's The Kite Runner. It was one of the few books I read that really made me cry. I really want to buy it's hard copy but it wasn't available at that time I went to the bookstore. I resorted to getting another book instead but the manager assured that copies will arrive by next month. Also, should I make a review on these books I read? I do post movie reviews from time to time but not books.  We'll look into it.

Yesterday, I had set up a WordPress page. I am actually thinking of making a switch from Blogger to WP. I've had some acquaintances before encouraging  me to try this platform. So after years I finally made up my mind to create a blog which you can visit here.

I don't have much update aside from this. Do I expect a very good film this year? Yes. Do I expect a Minzy debut soon? Yes, very soon. Do I expect a new girlfriend? No. Lately it's been raining hard. Stay safe and keep warm. The jungles of Manila is savage, especially this type of weather.

May 7, 2016

Notes on 2NE1's Most Tragic Year.

*I decided to write my thoughts after the day Minzy confirmed the news. Should you want to read other opinions about this, the best would be is to start from here.

May 4th 11:03PM. I received a notification on my phone that Minzy posted something on Instagram. The timing was on point as it was already May 5th midnight in Korea. This is it, I thought. Me, along with thousands of Blackjacks around the world are waiting for this moment. Since it's my lunch break, I went to the washroom to check on the post. And from there as I read her message, tears started rolling down my cheeks. Somehow a few weeks ago, I was still hoping that this was all a dream.

A little flashback. I only got into K-Pop because of Minzy. I can still remember it was around August-September 2009, a male co-worker who happened to be Sandara Park's fanboy showed me a music video he downloaded illegally from the office computer. It was a Korean music video of 4 girls named 2NE1, and the song was titled 'Fire'. I immediately spotted Sandara from the group (now with the name Dara), but what caught my attention the most was the small brown-haired girl with the name Minzy, on loose white shirt and at one time held a replica of Hulk's fist on the video. Little did I know she's the youngest of the group. Hell, at first I even thought she was CL. But then I started watching their other videos and TV guestings, shows and everytime I did, I always set my attention to this girl. I proclaimed myself to be Minzy fan from that time. It was until when the song 'It Hurts' was released that I began to appreciate them as a group and became a Blackjack and a Minja at the same time. I began to recognize their individual talent, that they're not just another girl group; they're one of a kind girl group. I began to love CL, Dara and Bom but most of all, my love for their youngest Minzy even grew stronger.

As their fanbase began to grow and spread outside Korea, 2NE1 never failed their supporters when it comes to delivering a hair-raising and awesome performance. I saw the members grow up; I had witnessed my favorite Minzy blossom from a girl to a lady, to a woman. Even if it's only from my computer screen. I was lucky enough to see them perform twice- one in 2011 where I was seated at the Gen Ad section (lol) and the last one in 2014, where I was able to secure a VIP seating and watch them in the flesh and hear their awesome voices.

Despite of the huge popularity of the group, during the past 6 years, 2NE1 only released 2 studio albums and 2 mini albums. YGE doesn't invest on the girls to be on tv shows (though they had some). Bom, CL and Dara were able to release singles. Minzy, on the other hand, didn't have any. A supposed to be 2011 solo was also brought up (by Minzy herself) during one of their AON promotions but this didn't materialize as obviously, Minzy literally had nothing during her time with 2NE1. For a company to ignore one of their most talented artist, it would really be a shame. But I, we heard nothing from both parties.

After AON and YG Fam concerts, 2NE1 again went on hiatus. CL became more involved with her upcoming US debut, Dara worked on several dramas and hostings, Bom went on hiatus too, and Minzy went to carry out her own activities. She posted self-composed songs, went to school, opened up her own dance academy. As a fan who is used to this set up, it seems that everything is okay and that I believed that they're silently working on another comeback by 2016. But an awful news struck the fandom instead when a month ago, YGE announced Minzy's departure from the company, the company she loved and cherished for 11 years.

On to present.  I got the update that I wanted. We got the update that we wanted. The fandom lashed out mixed reactions, some anger and disappointment, some sadness, some happiness. I am one of those sad fans when Minzy officially confirmed her departure. Sad that 2NE1 will continue to be a trio. Sad because I cannot imagine how CL, Dara and Bom will sing their greatest hits without her. I know I've read and heard fans say this, but I'll have to say it again- Minzy is definitely the most talented member of the group and I think we can all agree to this statement. While the other members have their own designated position in the group, she became an all around support- dancer, rapper, singer at the same time. If CL sets the stage on fire during performance, Minzy keeps the fire going until it ends. 2NE1 will not be the same without her.

After crying and pondering, I realized I should be happy. Be happy for my bias Minzy can now have her freedom to show her talents, and to spread her wings and became a solo artist. I can feel that this is what she's waiting for after 11 years, finally be herself and show the whole world what she got. I know it's a very hard decision for her to leave the group and company where she spent her childhood with. Her fellow members who had become her sisters. Her label mates who had become her brothers and seniors. I can feel that the other girls were devastated by this news as well. Well, actually all of us are devastated- up until now some fans still hasn't fully accepted the fact that 2NE1 is now a 3-member group. Eventually time will tell and the wound will heal and we will start fresh. Same as us fans. Although I am a loyal Minzy stan, I will still continue to love and support 2NE1. I am not sure yet how they'll sound as three, but I'm confident they'll pull it off.

With this mess that happened, here's some of my points:

1. I am thankful that Minzy didn't give us the silent treatment. I knew she would do this and the fact that she had  waited until May 5th midnight to confirm it was really heartwarming. May 5th 2015 would be one of the saddest days of my life.

2. Some "Blackjacks" are actually blaming the other girls that led to Minzy leaving the group. Please, CL, Bom and Dara had nothing to do with this, it is Minzy's decision not to renew her contract. Minzy's a gown woman who can decide whatever she wants with her life and career.

3. Other "Blackjacks" actually blame Minzy for being selfish and inconsiderate and that had been distant to the other girls ever since. How can she be selfish an inconsiderate if she was considered by her band mates the most reliable member? If she's selfish, she could have decided to leave years ago. Minzy waited 11 years, dropped out of high school and spent her childhood and teenage years training.

4. I actually blame YGE for not giving proper support to Minzy's endeavors. They lost a potential talent and a great asset to their company. I just hope in the future they won't make the same mistake to their new artists/groups.

As I went out of the washroom, I bumped into one of my colleagues and asked me why my eyes are red. I gave out a safe alibi and went back to work. I still had this heavy feeling, but I became more relieved and confident that everything will be okay.

Hello, this is Minzy. It is with a sincere heart that I write to you all. First, I would like to apologize to all those who expressed shock at the news of my departure. It is after careful consideration and much deliberation that I have decided to pursue a new journey as an artist named Minzy Kong. Ever since debuting with 2NE1 at the young age of 16, I have been grateful for the wonderful memories I shared with incredible fans worldwide. These experiences were undeniably precious and I take none of them for granted. Thank you all for helping me grow as an artist. I promise to work even harder to return before you all with an improved and more honest version of myself. Through a renewed vision and hard work, I hope to reciprocate the love, dedication, and support that you have shown me. Thank you to all the fans, family, and friends who have shown me their love and concern. I promise to return soon. love, Minzy
A photo posted by MINZY (@_minzy_mz) on

April 17, 2016

Some Things

Hello all. I'm back, apologies for the late update. After the New year I started looking for another job. It took me a while, but I was able to find one.

Remember my last post about online dating? Funny thing is, my new job is actually related to online dating. I thought I'd just stay as a moderator, approving photos and profiles (and deleting dick pics), but never came into my mind that I'd actually get to work for a dating site. Well it has been good for the past months, I'm still learning but eventually, I'll get the hang of it.

If you're asking if I still hunt for dick pics, yes I am. It has been a routine for me (at least I do 2-3 times a week) and actually getting this experience kind of help me with my current work. I got to understand how it actually functions and some other things I've learned that I am applying to my current job. I am looking forward to stay longer to my new employer, because not just the pay is good, but the work environment and culture is the best, and this is the one that's missing from my previous company.

Well, so much things happened the past weeks, but the tragic news I've received this year is my baby girl Minzy leaving 2NE1. I have yet to post on this topic, maybe next week, and some other things/thoughts I have to let out as well so... I'll need to get them organized first. Ciao!