January 7, 2016

Online Dating Thoughts

I've been "single-ish" for almost 2 years now. Single-ish meaning I still connect with my ex-girlfriend and we hang out sometimes, and have random sexy times. Am I that bad? Anyway this post isn't about her (I'll deal with this soon). This post is about my thoughs regarding online dating sites. Especially moderating online dating sites.

I admit, online dating is not my thing. But yes, because I'm single, I thought there's nothing wrong joining. So I signed up for OKCupid and been here for quite some time now. I get to answer endless questions and they'll be used by OKC to match you up with other users (using magic, yes). Here are some things I learned:

A low or zero percent match doesn't mean you really don't match. At all. A couple of weeks ago, I watched a video from Buzzfeed where they conducted an experiment on OKC's personality algorithm used to match users. Buzzfeed's Zach Kornfeld scoured the OkCupid universe to find a user that doesn't match his personality- in short his enemy. He eventually found one and they agreed to go out on a date. At the end of the date and the video, both Zach and the girl jived  and learned new things about each other and actually found out they have a lot in common. So me, as a user, tried the experiment by finding users with less than 20% match on me. Unfortunately, all conversations I had during the course of the experiment were a flop; these girls introduce themselves a bit then don't respond after, or they don't respond at all. Maybe they don't like my profile or maybe they think I'm some stalker the way I approached them or they find me unattractive.

Even though it's a fail, I strongly believe that the algorithm used by OKC shouldn't dictate you on who you should date. There is one reason why this was made, it's because most of the time it works.But it doesn't work on all people, at least not for Zach and the girl, and maybe for me as well. A good and honest communication is the key to a good relationship. And most of all, don't judge. Just because you're just 5% match with a girl doesn't mean you're not gonna talk to her. Go for it! Especially if you find her profile photo cute, or if she has photos with cats. :)

Spam account here, fake account there. Much like Facebook, OKC is also infested with ghost, spam and fake accounts. I won't talk about this further, because most of you guys know what these are. In some instances you may just need to be extra cautious with interactions because the use with good-looking profile photo can either be a scammer or a phisher (is this the right word?).

(If you're under 18, you may not want to read the next part of this post)

Dick pics here, dick pics there. One day, I was invited to be an OKC moderator. Being a moderator gives you the task of checking all photos uploaded by users, and you get to decide if it passes the guidelines and is okay to post. Since OK Cupid encourages users to post a real photo of them, you have to use all resources to check if a photo is authentic, or it's a grab from Google or from a social media account. And if you're a fan of dick pics, you may enjoy this moderator task. I am not a fan of it, but I get to see dozens of dick pics every single time I log in to moderate.

The past months, I think I've seen different dick sizes and types. If there's anatomy test for human male genitalia, I am pretty sure I'd pass that test with flying colors. As a hardcore gay woman, it disgusts me. Even the thought of it disgusts me. And most of the time these pics come from accounts that look for hookups and sex. Still, gentlemen, kindly enlighten me on why you guys should post picture of your shlongs online. And though I mark these photos obscene (because obviously this is prohibited under guidelines), users keep on trying to upload them. Maybe instead of posting them, keep them for the meantime until you have enough photos, create a mosaic for them, like the guy who made a Donald Trump mosaic out of dick pics.

So what I think about this is that online dating world can be fierce and dangerous, but can be fun at times. If you're looking to interact with people from all over the world, it can be a good medium. But if you are determined to find your better half, then step up your game; maybe time to update your profile? This is a dating site after all.

And please, guys. No dong photos.