October 16, 2016


This is the question my supervisor asked me during our one-on-one session. Having failed audits in one week, I can feel her frustration as we went through the almost 1 hour session. I know what she is rooting for me (as she had told me many times during previous conversations) but I felt like I had failed her. What's worst, is that I had failed myself too. I had great folks giving me support yet I did not meet their expectations. That's when I really started asking myself, "What is my goal in life? Am I really in the right direction to meet this goal?"

Unlike some people I know, I have a simple goal in life- be more stable for my future. Not stable like becoming super rich and having lots of houses and stuff (although that would be nice if it happens); but a more simple one. As a person belonging to the queer community, single and in my 30's I am think a lot about not being able to find a future partner. But I had come to a realization and started to accept that I will grow old and die alone, without a family of my own. Although Philippines is known as a "gay-friendly" country, there's no solid law that protects our rights and gives us more work opportunity and allows us to live more freely. I have 2 brothers and we are very close to each brother, but I cannot always rely onto them; in time they'll get married and have their own family, and I don't want to be a burden to them in the future.

And so by realizing this, I need to work more harder and try to keep my job and make not just my boss proud, but myself, too. Thankful that my employer gave me a chance to contribute my skills to their line of business and in return gives lots of opportunity that I can avail for free. I need to be more focused on my work and hopefully take one step further from reaching this simple goal I have.